Reflections by Susie Wee

I just played in two women’s ice hockey tournaments in the last two weekends. We competed at a Women’s C level in the first tournament (MLK tournament in San Jose) and at a B level in the second tournament (in Las Vegas!). Perhaps you can guess the result- we won the first tournament and we lost the second tournament.

Needless to say, two back-to-back weekends of hockey tournaments creates lots of good teamwork blog material. I’ll just start with one for now: Teamwork is about recovering from mistakes.

Let’s face it- everybody makes mistakes. In every second of every shift of a hockey game, you can do something brilliant, do something catastrophic, or do something somewhere in between. You will make mistakes. In fact, if you don’t make mistakes then you may not be taking enough risks or working to the peak of your ability.

So, the question is what happens when you do make a mistake? Of course, you should get back into things and try to recover (it doesn’t help to get down on yourself in the moment!). In addition, this is where teamwork comes in. When you make a mistake, it’s not the end of the world. Rather, it’s an opportunity for your teammates to shine! If your teammate makes a mistake, then you have an opportunity to shine!

Here’s an example: I was playing center. One of my defenders went into the offensive zone to make a play, so I covered back for her. Then there was a turnover. The other team got the puck and their forwards started skating towards our goal. Since I was covering for the defender, I started backing up to cover the play, while thinking hard about being in the right position to cover them. I was feeling pretty good and I was ready for the challenge of breaking up the play on this odd man rush. Then, out of the blue, my skate caught an edge and I fell backwards on the ice. My heart sunk. I thought “Oh $@#%%! They might score!”. I turned over and saw the other team skating hard towards the net. Then, all of sudden, I saw a streak of my teammate’s jersey. She was backchecking hard at full speed… she caught up to the player with the puck… took the puck away from her… and broke up the play! Yay- they didn’t score! Meanwhile I got up and jumped back into the play and the game continued on.

I was really proud of my teammate who totally rocked and saved the team from my mistake! Also, I think that even if my teammate didn’t break up the play, there was a really good chance that my goalie would have saved the day since she was also playing a great game! Of course, I’ll try to make fewer mistakes and stay on my skates next time , but it’s great to know that I can count on my teammates in times of trouble.

This is just one split-second example of a teammate covering for another teammate’s mistake. In a fast-paced sports game, mistakes and recoveries happen all the time- even every few seconds. Sometimes it’s blatant and sometimes it’s subtle. The main thing is that it’s all about teamwork- you work to the very best of your ability for your team, and if you or a teammate happen to make a mistake, you get out there to help recover from it and drive forward to create the next great play.

An added bonus is that by knowing that I have great teammates who can recover from mistakes, I know that I can take bigger chances on high-risk, high-reward plays. And, I hope my teammates know that they can do the same since I’ll be covering for them.

Another added bonus is that every time the team makes and recovers from a mistake, the team grows stronger!  It makes teammates appreciative of each other, trust each other, rely on each other, and gain confidence that they can get through even tougher situations together.

The example that I gave was a very blatant and visible mistake and recovery that happened on the ice. Note that mistakes and recoveries happen off the ice as well- in between shifts, in between games, and in between tournaments. In addition, mistakes and recoveries happen in work and in life, and teamwork can help with the recovery. Do you have any great mistake and recovery stories in sports or at work or in life?

Feel free to leave a URL with your comments.

In a prior post I wrote about the deceitful group that was tricking me into running up hills for long distances. The status of that is that I continue to fall for their trickery and deceit every Saturday morning (which doesn’t bode well for me). I guess you could call them trickster friends. But, this post is not about them. Rather, this post is about another personality type I call the bully friend. A bully friend is someone who bullies you into doing things you would not normally do, and makes you grow as a result. For example, a bully friend of mine somehow bullied me into running my first running race last weekend- the US Half marathon in San Francisco.

Warning: This post will meander a bit between a work post and a personal post.

My college freshman roommate, Julie Ask, registered me for the US Half marathon for my birthday. (Hint for identifying bullies: Is that really a birthday gift?!?) She’s always been a bully that way, roping me into all sorts of things, so it’s hard to tell if she’s really a friend. Yet, we’ve remained “friends” for 21 years. Fortunately, she got me ready for the race. She sent me to the running store to get properly fitted for shoes, and I learned that my shoes were two sizes too small- ouch! She bought me some Gu to keep me energized throughout the race. She bought me some Glide to protect my skin. She got me some hair bands to tie up my hair. She bought me a race belt to hold my number. And, she had a carbo-loading pasta party the evening before the race so that I would eat properly and at the right time. Basically, she exhausted any excuse I could think of to get out of the half marathon. I guess that’s what bully friends are for.

Julie wisely said that our goal was not to finish, but to finish healthy. Like the deceitful Saturday morning trail runners, I think she’s trying to trick me into running another race some day. So, she set us a modest goal of finishing in 2:15-2:30. We ran with Julie’s brother and another friend, and the four of us decided to stay together for the race.

On race day, she picked me up in a cab from my sister’s apartment in SF. We got to the starting line early and stretched out. We had our first Gu 15 minutes before the race started. At 7:00, bang, we were off. Out of the gate, lots of people ran past us. Julie wisely said that our strategy was to let people pass us at the beginning, but then to pass them at the end. So, we were patient and kept a comfortable pace.

The sun was shining when the race started. The view of the Golden Gate bridge, Alcatraz, and all of SF was beautiful in the morning sunlight and throughout the race. We started at Aquatic park and had the excitement of the race crowd. We ran across Chrissy field and had a beautiful view of Alcatraz and the Bay. We did a couple loopty loops in Golden Gate park. We ran across the Golden Gate bridge and had beautiful views all around. On the far end of the bridge, we ran down to the ocean and climbed back up the hill to get to the other side of the bridge. We ran back over the Golden Gate bridge and saw boats and their wakes in the water below. Thanks to Julie’s experience of knowing where the camera men would be, we struck a hang-loose group pose for the camera man as we passed him on the bridge. We ran back along Chrissy field where Julie’s brother’s wife met us at mile 10 and handed us the most delicious Twizzlers you ever tasted! Then, we went over the baby hill at Fort Mason and crossed the finish line in Aquatic park. We finished comfortably at 2:19 according to plan. Since this is my first race, I was told I get to call this a personal record.

We walked every water station and we Gu’ed every 45 minutes, i.e., we did whatever Julie told us to. For some reason I kept floating forward and thank goodness Julie kept reeling me back. As a result, we were all pretty comfortable for all 13.1 miles. I usually get sore around mile 9. But, thanks to Julie’s pacing, the trail running, and my new shoes, I was pretty comfortable until the last baby hill at Fort Mason. Julie’s strategy worked… people passed us at the start but we mostly passed others in the 2nd half of the race. Our loved ones met us at the finish line. We achieved Julie’s goal of finishing healthy.

Let me show off about my bully friend a bit more. By day, Julie is a vice president and research director at JupiterResearch. She is their analyst in charge of wireless and mobility and she has a great blog. In addition, she is a Toyota sponsored endurance athlete as part of their viral marketing campaign to push Toyota hybrids, think renewable energy — environmental-friendly cars — endurance athletes. She does all sorts of crazy events, like triathalons, half marathons, soccer, ice hockey, and swimming (I’m getting tired typing them!). When she does her races, she wears her Toyota sportswear to represent the brand and she posts a little story about the race. Her bullying certainly pre-dates the Toyota sponsorship, but as you can tell she’s a great representative for them. I’m just lucky to have her as a bully friend.

So, why did I write this story on my work blog? Because it shows another example of how teamwork can be used to help individuals stretch and grow to achieve things that they never thought they could. Julie had a plan and I grew as a result. She pushed me hard enough to take me beyond where I would have gone on my own, but she pushed gently enough to make sure I finished healthy so that I’d do it again. Julie achieved her goal of delivering me back to my loved ones in a healthy state. I achieved her goal of completing my first half marathon with a healthy finish. At the end of the race, she gave me permission to run faster next time (actually, she said she would give me a longer leash).

Are you lucky enough to have a bully friend?
Are you a bully friend to someone else?
Have you used the bully method to help someone grow at work? (I also call it the tough love method.)

Please feel free to leave a URL with your comments.

As you may know from a previous post, my newest hobby is trail running with a group of great people. We go every Saturday morning at 7am. It’s earlier than I like to wake up, but once I get a little coffee in me and start driving over, I start looking forward seeing my new buddies and catching up. Well, this Saturday morning I was running a little late. I drove over to the trailhead and got there at 7:10. I was looking forward to seeing everyone, but I pulled up and noone was there. Darn, I missed them! Unfortunately, the trail splits in many different directions at this particular trail head, so I had no idea which way they went. I was disappointed, but then started running up one of the trails alone.

Well, I think trail running with a group is really fun, but I have to admit that pounding my way up a hill by myself is not nearly as fun. So there I was, running up the hill, step by step, slowly making my way to the top. I was hoping to bump into them, but it was quiet and they were nowhere to be seen. I continued uphill for a few more miles and still didn’t see them. I took my best guess and went along a route where I thought we might intersect, but I made my way around and I was still alone. I got to a point where I realized we should have passed by now. So, I finally gave up and accepted that I missed them. Oh well!

Since I was at the top of the hill, I decided to make the most of it and run over to another vista point so that I could at least get a great view of the bay. I turned up the trail and pounded along step by step. All of a sudden there were a few runners coming towards me on the trail. We started to gasp hello at each other (as trail runners do when they pass each other) and… SURPRISE… it was them! I was surprised! They were surprised! It was such a spontaneous surprise that we had big smiles and high-fived each other. What a treat! After our happy reunion, we ran the second half of our trail run together and made our way back. (Actually, we had a nice little adventure on our way back, but that would qualify for a personal post).

Well, as you can guess, I’m writing this in my work blog because it got me thinking about analogies to work. Can you think of situations where you are heads down into your work, pounding away on something for hours, days, or weeks. You’re working hard, engrossed in a problem or project, just working away. You get so immersed and focused that you start to lose track of what’s going on around you. You might even be stuck in a rut and not realize it. Think about the impact of a nice little surprise! Maybe someone brings you a cookie. Maybe someone takes you out for a cup of coffee. Maybe someone simply takes a minute to stop by and and ask how you’re doing. Maybe someone finds an excuse to have a little celebration for you. All of a sudden you have a little surprise that pulls you out of a rut and brings a smile to your face. Then, you can get back to what you were doing with a renewed energy and perspective. Wow- the impact of a little surprise!

In my little story, the surprise was serendipitous. But, a little surprise can be just as impactful when someone plans it, especially when it has a personal touch.

I’ve been the lucky receiver of a few little surprises from friends and colleagues in the last couple weeks. Thank you! I’ve been the giver of a couple little surprises, too.

Have you had an experience where you had a little surprise- serendipitous or planned- that pulled you out of a rut?
Have you ever given someone a little surprise to help pull them out of a rut?

Here’s a little homework assignment for this week: Find someone who might be stuck in a rut, and give them a nice little surprise!  Then, come back and tell me about it.

Feel free to leave a URL with your comments.